beneath my hands

beneath my hands
hanna (hanna/sophie, post-film)
for the film2011 ficathon and gdgdbaby's birthday
title from this poem
when someone is your friend, you should apologize

it's completely mental but her dad makes her stay out of school for the first two weeks of term cause she's like, traumatized or whatever. as if having some freaky albino girl and a couple psycho nazis try to kill her is supposed to keep her up all night. whatever. all it means means that stupid slaggy katie mcdonald has a full fourteen day head start with jonny davis and his gorgeous black curls and stupidly fit body.

of course, sophie coming back with a wicked tan and two weeks of rumours about her being practically dead more than make up for whatever shit katie was telling jonny about her.

it's religion class and she's sitting outside a corner shop down the road from school, rolling up her uniform skirt and hurriedly applying watermelon lipgloss. jonny's inside trying to get a pack of marlboros and some wine with his fake id. it looks totally fake but whatever. jonny says they won't even check if he's got confidence.

she's tweeting about it (@ moes w/ jonny hes buying a picnic lunch xx) and picturing the completely stroppy look on katie's face when she finds out when he plops back down beside her. she says, "i hope you got white wine cause i read this thing about red wine like chipping at people's teeth and staining them--"

"i didn't bring any wine."

sophie's phone clatters to the ground.

like a shot, hanna's picking it up and handing it to her. "i'm sorry. was i supposed to bring wine?"

"what? ummmm no. you were supposed to not be a complete weirdo xman and scare the shit out of me and then disappear." hanna looks down, like she's ashamed. her eyelashes are still white and so is her hair. she still looks totally mad. "and you were definitely not supposed to be around to embarrass me in front of my new boyfriend."

hanna looks up then. "i know. and it's not safe for you to be around me. i'm dangerous. but it has been 49 days since i killed marissa wiegler and no one has been searching for me. i wanted to make sure you weren't hurt."

what."oh my god did you kill that ginger woman? you complete maniac." sophie wants to laugh, which is a totally messed up psycho reaction. hanna must be contagious.

she glances toward the corner shop-- she can see jonny's curls bobbing through the aisles. "anyway, i'm fine, so you can go now."

"and your family? your mother and miles?" she's wearing these hideous green cargos that sophie wouldn't be caught dead in and a big black sweater. she doesn't look ugly or anything though. just sort of… confused. jonny would think she was a freak. she is a freak.

"they're fine, god hanna. miles still won't talk, mom's still a mad feminist, dad still wants to live in the caravan. can you go now?" she can see jonny through the barred window, he's at the cash.

"there was another thing." hanna's toying with something around her wrist, but she's looking right at sophie, her eyes all huge and light and crazy. "something i wanted to tell you."

"okay." hanna says nothing. just sits there blinking at sophie. "jesus, what did you want to say?"

hanna's mouth twitches like she wants to smile. "i told you already."

sophie rolls her eyes so emphatically her body sways a bit. "whaaaaat?"

"i'm sorry. i lied to you and put you in danger and ran away. and when someone is your friend, you should apologize. so i said i'm sorry."

sophie wants to laugh again, but instead her eyes water up. something blurry passes across hanna's face before she leans in, pressing her mouth against sophie's. she's really warm, almost hot to the touch, and it's like little electric zaps are pouring from her mouth into sophie's, one light hand against sophie's cheek. sophie opens her mouth, gasps.

hanna moves back, licks her lips, blinks.

"your mouth tastes good," she says. sophie's processing that when the bell above the corner shop door trills and hanna's darting off down the street, running like her life depends on it, almost too fast to see. mad idiot.

"who was that?" jonny says, cracking gum between his teeth. "thought i saw someone out here with you."

sophie licks her lips. she stares at the pavement like it'll explain how her life became so fucking insane. she thinks about hanna's wrist, the pointy bone there and the straggly faded braided thread she'd still been wearing. her bracelet.